House of Cards: Like a Neighborhood Tale That You Hear From Your Family
What makes Sudha Murthy’s House of Cards special is that it’s too common, too real. It’s not the kind of story with extreme twists and turns, you can probably even guess most of it. But it’s also the kind of story you would never forget, it’s a like a neighbourhood tale that you hear from your family. Your mind won’t wander back to the story often but you’d always remember the chain of events that took place. There’s everyone to blame, yet no one to blame.
It beautifully captures and highlights the little things that people are made of — the way they think, the way they act, the way they interact with their surroundings & with other humans. It then builds on time and how our circumstances can change us as human beings. What I really loved about the book is that it at no point tries to preach you what is good or bad, it doesn’t tell you what is right or wrong. It leaves it on you for you to judge and comprehend that. But, at the same it provides you with intricate details of what might have made the person become who they are or choose to do what they do or how they behave or what they consider precious.
There are these brief but intricate descriptions which can trigger a rush of memories and make you feel a bunch of emotions. For instance, when she talks about Sanjay catching the train, it made me go back in time and reminded me of my train journeys as a child to my grandparent’s house who lived 400 kms away.
Sanjay rushed to Bombay’s VT station. The platform was crowded. The people on the platform who had come to see others off were double the number of the actual passengers. Everybody was busy either waiting to get into the train or saying goodbye to their loved ones.
As he was catching his breath, he thought about how people dealt with anxiety. They lived with it and tried their best to learn how to control it.
While the story revolves around Mridula, it still touches the lives of the people in her life in a way that you could totally imagine the characters being around you. I personally have seen people with the same kind of mindset in my family or at least heard about them in close circles. And while we don’t like accepting it openly, jealously and rivalry in families does exist. It’s unfortunate, but it’s real. So when Sanjay thought the following, I couldn’t help but agree at some level. Though, the heart will always root for a big fat happy family.
Movies like Hum Saath Saath Hain and Hum Aapke Hain Koun advocated the importance and advantage of a joint family. But Sanjay had seen the selfishness, jealousy and negative undercurrents in large families and the false portrayal of a well-bonded family to society. It was better that people lived separately and kept cordial relationships with their siblings and parents, rather than staying in a joint family and fighting every day, he thought.
The book also tries to portray the different value systems a person follows in life and how we as parents tend to pass these values to our children. Both Mridula and Sanjay learnt different values from their parents. For instance, this is what Sanjay recalled:
He remembered what Amma had said: “Child, don’t express your deepest feelings to anyone unless you are sure about the consequences. You should never share your weakness without thinking it through. Otherwise, people will take advantage of it.”
But Appa had said just the opposite: “Every person is an island. You need a bridge to connect two islands. That bridge is called a relationship. In life, real affection comes not through hiding but through expressing your true feelings.”
Another one where Mridula’s mother tells her:
Whenever you face difficulty or you receive joy, you must share it with others. But think of all the animals — those poor things can’t even share their difficulty with anyone. They have to bear it alone. Mridula, remember — you must always be open. Don’t hide. Hiding is a sin.
When Mridula and Sanjay became parents, the values that they then pass on to their son was a mix of what they learnt from their parents combined with their experiences in life. There were again huge differences in both Sanjay’s and Mridula’s view of life. It can sometimes be so unbelievable that people who’ve lived together for years can have such different perspectives about life but I guess that is how we function.
Shishir, everybody has a price at which they are ready to compromise their principles. For some, it is ten thousand rupees and for others, it may be ten lakh. Money is most people’s weakness.
This is what Sanjay taught his son Shishir. The values, therefore, that we as human beings choose to believe in are so complicated and made up of so many factors that I sometimes feel that it is difficult to say that there are universally good values and we all should function according to them. Maybe it all just depends on our circumstances.
Marriages in India are more complex than they seem. The book talks about marriage and how a girl’s relationship changes with the people around her after she gets married — the dynamics with her family, the dynamics of her new family and how it functions with the socially excepted norms of marriage in our society.
Surekha, the bride, was in her room in the wedding hall. She was feeling low. She had lived in the secure arms of her loving family till today but now, she had to step into the outside world with an unknown man.
Rain brings different emotions to different people. It inspires creativity in poets and artists, but during a wedding, it only brings tension.
It was more difficult to face a son than a married daughter.
A son is a shady tree in old age and parents must take care of the tree when it is a sapling.
Mridula, in a male dominated society like ours, all the important decisions are made by a man, including choices about what his wife wants. Every woman values her freedom to choose — much more than her husband’s money or position.
In India, when you marry a person, you also marry his family. By default, people expect you to adjust to the husband’s family. When a girl becomes a daughter-in-law, she’s subjected to unnecessary criticism, irrespective of her good qualities.
All of this, of course, while reflecting how things work in our society and how much impact it makes in our lives. Here, again, these are excerpts from what different people experienced and felt, and how their circumstances made them believe and follow what they do.
Though we talk about equal opportunity for everyone, practically, in our country, it is community, language and connections that are important.
And in this blame game, the school and the its students suffered.
It’s better to get out of the system and fight than stay in the system and struggle.
In the end, it is a personal choice about how closely we follow our own principles.
Mridula, infidelity, deceit and lies are like close knit brothers. All liars don’t deceive. But all deceivers are liars. All deceivers are not cheaters. But all cheaters are deceivers.
At twenty if you are not an idealist, then you don’t have a heart. And if you continue being an idealist at forty, then you don’t have a brain.
Relationships are maintained not just because you are related by blood, but also by keeping in touch.
There’s no relationship between money & happiness. A content person distributes happiness. An unsatisfied person like Sanjay distributes restlessness.
The open ending of the book leaves you with nothing but hope. I love how it makes you wonder what would have happen and if ever you’re in a similar situation, it’ll let you do whatever your heart will tell you to.
And here’s my most favourite part from the book:
Bheemanna always bent the rules when it came to Mridula. She was his life. When people asked Mridula whether she was her mother’s or father’s favourite, she said, “I am Amma’s girl and Appa’s world.”
